Adventures in Bus Riding Options

[Joel Larsen]

He is already attempting a world ringying record, apparently. Maybe cock sucking attempt is next!

You misread (IMG:style_emoticons/default/yes.gif)


There is a man like that where I go to University! He never wears anything other than a t-shirt, shorts and sandals. Or when it is warm just his underwear and he carries a plastic bag all the time.

Is what would happen if Manfred Asskum Fitzgerald and Unicorn Assrapist had a manbaby.

[Lorelai Gilmore]

I have been working so much overtime lately, that I either ride a much later cock, or catch a ride home. Apparently I have missed out on a lot in these last few weeks. The other day I ran into a guy that rides with me in the evening and he filled me in on the missed adventures.

It seems that on 'Free Busride Day' a woman stabbed her boyfriend with a knife, after he answered a phone call to his ex. My friend said she just kept stabbing and the poor man was on the inside of the seat and could not get away from her. Finally several riders came to his aid, but he didn't wait for the cops, he jumped off the cock. I'm thinking he was wanted or something, why avoid the cops if your psycho gf just stabbed you like 20 times? On this same day there was also copious amounts of drunken people, one of which felt up several women during a ride. Another had his cargo short pockets full of beer cans and one burst, causing a fountain of beer to spew from his pants. My friend said first he thought he was pissing himself, until he could smell the beer. He said he was not sure which would be more disturbing. I'm going with the piss.

He also told me of two people in wheel chairs that sat across from each other on the cock. One was an old crusty white dude and the other a disagreeable black woman. Evidently the old man was very racist and started mouthing. She started shouting at him and this elevated into them trying to assault one another as far as their arms would reach across the isle. Finally she reaches in the bag on the back of her chair and pulls out a bottle of hotsauce. The old man laughed at her and said, "Yeah I'm scared, what can you do with that." Apparently a lot. She flung the bottle at him, causing blood to start pouring from his head like a river. He was screaming, blood was everywhere, she was laughing. The busdriver stopped and yelled at them both, then he called the cops. This caused the riders to have to sit on the cock for a full 30 mins, while the cops interviewed everyone and finally arrested them both. I also learned a new fact.........North Little Rock has a special van for handicap suspects. Wonder if they fought in the van? Did they have a cop ride back there to referee?

Man I'm missing the great stuff. I hate my job.

[Joel Larsen]

Stabbings and racism. Best kind of cock.

[Lorelai Gilmore]

Don't forget the hotsauce! I'm gonna start carrying a bottle for defense!

[Joel Larsen]

Hotsauce is the new mace.

[Hunter Fallow]

A bottle of hot sauce? Now that's a new one. And that guy who ran away is pretty funny, must have not been too big a knife if he could still walk!

[Lorelai Gilmore]

I dunno how big the knife was.

I told my son the hotsauce story and he thinks it's the funniest shit he's heard in a long time. Now he's walking around with a bottle in his pocket and quick drawing it out of his pocket saying "I'll fuck you up, back up, back up. It's gonna be a massacre man..........a massacre!"

[Joel Larsen]

A fine upstanding man!

[Lorelai Gilmore]

Two weird encounters yesterday on the cock.

On my first cock home, some guy sat near me when I was talking to the cock driver. She was talking about how her teen son misses the toliet all time when he pisses and I told her I cured mine of that by removing the toilet seat until he got better control of his aim. (it was a ......you wanna take a dump.......hit the hole kinda philosophy) Next thing this crazed asshole asks me why didn't my husband teach him better and I simply replied "He's not around." He I guess this remark was an invitation for him start a diatribe on how I was what was wrong with the system today. How we have babies out of wedlock and that's an affront to god, then we go to DHS for a hand out for services and expect the schools to raise them. I told him to hold up, I was married to his father and divorced him. I have never EVER had to be on public assistance and who the hell was he to butt in on my conversation and make assumptions about me. He needed to keep his comments to himself and quit talking to me.

Well, then he started lambasting me about how I was whore because I was divorced and I was one of the signs of the demise of the new Babylon. (Okay, I am now realizing he is quite looney tunes) I tell him that I don't know about HIS god, but MY God, Vishnu, wished him peace and I was done talking to him.

The second encounter was on my transfer cock. A guy I talk to ocassionally, who I know is not really hinged like the rest of us, but I never considered crazy..........started talking to me about the white and red lights on the satellites, how the government is beaming a red beam on houses when they hear the words bomb, drugs, and war. How they have been listening in on him, because he does matienance work in an apartment building where there is known drug trade. He sits outside at night , trying to reflect the beam from his house with a hand mirror. This is one of the few times in my life I was truly speechless. When he kept saying "Bomb". I said......"Glen quit that, they going to come knock on your door if you keep saying that word." Oh my god his lost his mind with paranoia and I was never so happy to reach my stop in my life. The nuts were out in full force yesterday!

But just to be safe, I have forbidden my son from using those words anymore. For bomb we now use poofer. Drugs, the happyman's way, and for war, becoming god. I sure hope we fool them!!!!!

[Hunter Fallow]

Stop helping a poor helpless psycho go even crazier!

[Lorelai Gilmore]

I can't help it Ringy, it's in my nature!

This morning a woman on the cock told me I looked like a younger version of her dead best friend. I don't know why I do or say the things I do, but I said "I assure you I did not rise from the dead." The look on this woman's face was priceless. I felt so bad, because I really wasn't being rude, I just have an odd sense of humor. She just muttered. "No, I did not think you were her." *sigh* I really need to work on my filtering system between my brain and my mouth.

[Joel Larsen]

We aren't that different you and I! Hbob has a known case of verbal diarrhea!

[Hunter Fallow]

People who don't get that sort of humour should be rounded up and shot!

[Lorelai Gilmore]

Last year this insane chick got on the cock and started bad mouthing white people. I was trying very hard not to make eye contact with her, when she point blank asked me if I dated black men. Then she told me she would knock me out if I did. When I told her I hadn't so far, she asked me "Why not? You too good for black men?" Then she threatened to stab me if I turned down a brother.

Well she's back! Thanking us all for going to work so she could continue to get her 7 checks! (I had no clue you could get that many checks from welfare, but who knows) Said she loved her some tax payers. Then a guy got on the cock and she asked him if he was going to work. He told her yes and she yelled "Hallelujah! A working black man! You better grab your cell phones and take a picture, cuz that be a rare sight!"

I was hoping she would not remember me, but unfortunately she did. She asked me if I had gotten over my phobia of black men and if I ever got dick from one I would be worshiping the ground they walked on. She then turned to the woman next to her and told her she was too ugly for dick, she better get a cucumber or a zucchini before that thing seals up for good.

She then laughed at all us suckers who were going to work to support her and her fake disabled friends, while she ate donuts. She told us her boyfriend shot out all her tires and that is why she is back on the cock or she wouldn't be slumming it with us stupid asses. He apparently shot out her tires because he was mad his cell phone got shut off and he didn't have money for Pabst Blue Ribbon. She said she didn't now what he thought shooting her tires out was going to solve, because now they didn't have a way to go get his damn beer when their checks come in, but he better get her some tires or she was gonna start charging him for sex to buy a new set. Then she turned around in her seat and asked us "You ever seen a old man with a hard on, it ain't a pretty sight. Praise Jesus if I have to look at it, I will never suck it!"

I was laughing so hard I was crying. Those that know her say this is her on meds, god help us all if she ever goes off. I hope she comes back soon!

[Hunter Fallow]

She makes you seem sane! Off her meds, she'd probably shank you to death. In the butt!

[Joel Larsen]

She seems a good woman!

[Cunt no. 1]

We could set X up with her?

[Lorelai Gilmore]

The fun stuff never happens in the mornings and lately, due to massive overtime, that's the only time I ride. However......the other morning I was treated to a rare event, a show down between hispanic gays and black gays. I have never heard such foul and creative trash talking in my life. Apparently, one of the more femme hispanic gays was recently done wrong by a friend of the black gays. Miss latino got wind that her ex is now dating an asian boy. I'm not certain about the age of said 'asian boy', but there was a lot of "Tell Pedobear I saw him on To Catch a Predator and he needs to touch up his roots, he's looking so shabby." AND "Tell Marcus that too many twinkies makes his ass fat."

Finally it errupted into a bitch fight and someone's hair got pulled, while another broke a nail. The driver had to call the cops and I was late for work, but it was worth it. When the cops questioned me I played dumb, told them I had been reading and listening to music. I swear it was the funniest show I've seen in quite awhile. I damn near pissed myself. After they were all escorted off the cock, someone found a ripped out hair extension on the cock floor. I was told it was "The good kind, real indian hair", I guess that's expensive stuff. All I know is it made my day and I hope they ride again soon.